festive dispatches from the war on stupid

A fresh supply of total festive balls arrives:

Christmas is in danger of being swept aside by a tide of political correctness, leading political figures have warned.

David Cameron, the Conservative leader, said banning Nativity plays and replacing "Merry Christmas" signs with "Season's greetings" risked offending people from other faiths by patronising them. He attacked the attitude of councils that refuse to celebrate Christmas as "nonsense" and expressed concern at the way traditions are being eroded in schools.

Except, of course, that no-one has "banned" Nativity plays, and that people are completely free to celebrate this coming holiday as they see fit - which includes going to church, celebrating it without any religious content, or completely ignoring it.

The only significant change has been the willingness of politicians to pretend that they have "values" by springing to the defence of something that isn't under attack. I'm sure Cameron would give a speech on the dangers of Christmas crackers if someone told him there was a vote in it. Every other change is to do with ordinary people making ordinary choices about how to lead their lives - and not the devious workings of a secular cabal who hate infant deities.

The thread-bare quality of the supposed controversy is illustrated quite neatly by the Telegraph's need to dredge up stories from nearly a decade ago to claim that the season is being eroded:

Birmingham City Council became notorious for using the term "Winterval" in 1998 to cover all religious festivities, and now almost half of all primary schools in the city are not staging a Nativity play.

A survey found just one in 10 Christmas cards sold in Britain contained religious messages or imagery.

The conservative press is never, ever going to forgive Birmingham City Council for "Winterval": we'll still be hearing about in 2018, even though it only existed for two years as part of a scheme to drive business into Birmingham's newly rejuvenated town centre. Winterval doesn't exist anymore, hasn't since 2000 and wasn't repeated anywhere else: it has absolutely nothing to do with a "politically correct" attack on Christmas, mainly because the attack doesn't exist.

The christmas card "survey" is a story recycled from the last year's Telegraph sponsored stupidity - a non-story aided and abetted by the usual suspects on the religious right which suggested (once more) that the main reason for change is ordinary people, who prefer funny cards with pictures of penguins dressed as santa rather than pictures of the baby Jesus reminding you of your sins.

In short, the idea that Christmas - a holiday observed by the vast majority, when churches see their highest yearly attendance - is about to be "swept away" is hyperbole of the most transparent order, and the attempt to induce panic over a "war on Christmas" is a feeble copy of the American right-wing campaign with the same nonsensical agenda. To echo the Telegraph's new campaign, a moment to feel proud to be British.